Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
