i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
