What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
