I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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