Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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