Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
