I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
