Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
well you can't waste a boner
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
