He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
