Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
