So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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