if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
