yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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