She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
