When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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