You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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