I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
