no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
