Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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