is your mom at the bar?
I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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