Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
