Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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