Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
