my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
