You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I supernannyed him into submission
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
