I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
pop tarts are not kleenex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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