So drunk its hurt
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
