Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
