batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just pee around me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
