you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
