So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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