i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
