Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
