how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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