dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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