Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
