Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
