Why are handjobs necessary in class?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
