Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
