and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
