god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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