ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
