Your tits are I can't wait for
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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