I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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