the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
