Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize