in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
