Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
