He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
