I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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