I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
