Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
