Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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