He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
