I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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