i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
