im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
