is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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