So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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