I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
